I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
