This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
