is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
