so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
