I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think i have herpe
just one?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize