Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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