Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize