he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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