We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
