i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
