would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
pray to the hookup gods
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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