My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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