I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize