Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
its not stalking. its research.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
