I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
