Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
