so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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