wrigley field is MILF paradise
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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