I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
