I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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