dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize