no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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