hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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