I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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