Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
