When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
