I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
