I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
