If i come over, it means nothing
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
