D3 body, D1 cock
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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