You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
