the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
