If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
