in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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