I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
