hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
