weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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