I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize