There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize