Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
