My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
