Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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