I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
