So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
