I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
