I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
