I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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