i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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