He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
