this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
