If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
