when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
